25
Aug 16

Don’t Let Your Divorce Bankrupt You!

There are so many mistakes that you can make during a messy divorce that can land you in a position where you might feel that bankruptcy is the only way out.  Divorces are expense and attorney and expert fees can rack up quickly costing you thousands.  The sad thing is that in many cases, you might be expected to continually pay more out while your ex is able to get away with little to no representation.  There are some things that you can do to avoid becoming bankrupt when you are going through a divorce.

 Know Who Your Lawyer is Working For

In far too many cases, clients end up with attorneys who do not seem to really be working as hard as they can for them.  In these cases, you can end up with continuing legal bills and fees and no real chance to have the money that you deserve to take care of your problems.  When you are going through a divorce, make sure that you budget out what you can afford for legal fees.  If you are going to be going through a lengthy trial, try to find ways that you can cut costs by doing research or providing paperwork for your attorney that will help speed along the process and end up costing you thousands less.  Be open and honest with your attorney about what you can afford and what you are willing to pay out of your pocket.

If you notice that your attorney starts asking for more money before delivering results, make sure that you are open and honest and have a talk with them.  Explain what you were promised during your consultations and discuss outcomes so far vs what you were expecting for money that had been previously paid.  Ask them for a detailed breakdown of every invoice. Keeping your lawyer in check is important to ensure that he is really working his best for you.  You can also ensure that you end up in a divorced situation and that you end up with what you are expecting from your attorney.

 

 Don’t Be Afraid of Second Opinions

 One of the biggest mistakes that people make when going through a divorce is that they do not seek out second opinions from attorneys or anyone else. Make sure that you are willing to look for what you want by seeking out an attorney that might be a better match than your first.  Choosing the right attorney can be scary since retainers typically run in the thousands and if you are trying to avoid bankruptcy then you are going to want to find someone who is going to be affordable and willing to help you.

 Consider Legal Aid

 If you do not have a steady income or if you are not making a considerable amount of money, then you are going to want to consider checking out what might be available to you from legal aid.  In many cases, legal aid is available to help those who do not have a lot of money so that they do not go broke trying to afford legal fees.  Sometimes legal aid will not accept cases that are going to require a ton of ground work or additional help so make sure that you are really looking at the big picture of what you need when you are going through your divorce.  If you do not need to fight over something, don’t.  Choosing to simplify your requests can help you to get an attorney that is going to be more affordable and cost friendly for you.

 Consider Legal Aid a Family Advocacy Program

 If you prefer not to hire an attorney and you don’t qualify for legal aid, another option is to go through a low cost family law service. Programs such as National Family Solutions have a nationwide network of attorneys and Legal Documents Assistants that prepared all the necessary documents for family law cases and guide you through the filing, serving and representation process. Choosing an option such as this could help you save thousands of dollars in retainer fees and billable hours, but you will have to be willing to do some of the legwork yourself.

In conclusion, divorces can get very expensive and they could quickly put you in a financial bind. Don’t do things out of spite to get back at the other party because you will only be hurting yourself at the end. A successful divorce isn’t always about being right.  Remember to explore your option and see what’s best for you, your children and your finances.


17
Aug 16

Staying on Track – How to Be Positive in a Long Custody Case

Everyone who is involved in a child custody battle wishes that they weren’t and struggles with keeping positive.  It is so hard to be involved in this type of situation because of the emotions that are involved.  Parents will find that in the best situations they are able to agree upon things.  However, this is not typically the case and many times a family court judge is forced to determine what is going to be best for the child and parents involved.

In most cases, it is possible for both parents to be able to have a safe and nurturing environment for the children at their homes.  Even if this is the case, when it’s time to go to court for custody, it’s always a stressful time and usually neither parent ends up with exactly what they were hoping for.  There are many steps that you can take in order to show how committed you are to your children.  Doing these things can help you to remain positive while you are going through a tough custody battle.

 

Be Involved with the Schools

Many parents find enjoyment when they are able to be involved in their child’s day to day activities at school.  When you are staying involved, you are helping yourself to have positive times with your child in their school environment.  You are also working together with your child to provide them with the things that they need for success in their education.  Showing your dedication to your children and their education will help you to have a more positive attitude as far as your child is concerned.

 

Help Your Children Be Involved

One of the biggest mistakes that parents make when they are going through a custody battle is that they withdraw.  When they withdraw, they withdraw their children with themselves.  This can be damaging to your child and their self-esteem.  Instead of withdrawing, help to ensure that your children stay involved.  Being involved in activities with your children will help you to have a more positive attitude and will help your children to be able to stay positive as well.  Plus, they will be working on developing friendships and working on skills needed for success in different areas of life.

 

Take Photographs

Many people do not realize how important it is to be able to show how a child spend their time when they are with a parent.  Photographs of things that you are doing with your children, their living environment, and the family members/friends that they associate with is important.  If you are spending time with others and having a good time with your children, you are going to be able to look at the brighter side of things as well.

 

Set Boundaries & Enforce Them

 Children who are going through a tough time, like the divorce of their parents and a custody battle are going to be more likely to try and push the boundaries.  One of the things that you can do in order to help maintain a stable home for your child is set clear boundaries for them.  Make sure that your child has expectations and knows what is expected of them.  You will also want to ensure that your child knows what the consequences for not following through with expectations can be.  While your child might at first try and get around the boundaries that you set, both you and your child will be happier in the future with clear boundaries and rules.

 

Care for Your Child

 During a bad custody battle, life might feel as though it is out of your control.  In some ways it will be, but there are many aspects of life that you can remain in control over.  Make sure that you are taking your children to regular doctor appointments and staying on top of any health concerns that you might have.  In addition, you will want to make sure that you are following through with eating healthy meals and gaining certifications that can show that you are going to be a qualified parent.  Be willing to take classes like child CPR and parenting classes so that everyone involved understands your goal to be a better parent.

 

Stay Positive

Instead of looking at everything that is going on in your life, take time to look at everything that is going right.  Instead of falling into a negative attitude or allowing yourself to look at the negative things that are going on, make sure that you stay positive and that you are focusing on each and everything that is going right in your life.  If you have a positive attitude and avoid being negative it is going to be harder for your ex to portray you in a negative light.  Remember, even if they are lying about you and saying things to purposely anger you, that if you give them any hint of anger in a courtroom, what your ex is saying is going to appear to be true.  Keep calm and levelheaded and stay positive no matter what you are going through.

 

Know Who Your Children Are

Do not allow yourself to get lost from your children while you are going through a custody battle.  Take time to get to know your children.  Learn about the things that they enjoy, what they are into, things they like to do, what they want to become, and who they really are.  The more you know about your child, the better that you are going to be able to be a parent to them.

Child custody battles can be intense and tough situations to deal with.  It might feel as though nothing is going right and you might feel as though you have every right in the world to give up.  However, with the right attitude and the right presence you will be able to truly understand who you and remain positive even in the worst of situations.