29
Aug 17

How to Manage Teenage Anger During a Divorce

Going through a divorce is rough on you, but it’s also rough on your kids, regardless of the reason for it. If your child is a teenager, the results from the divorce could be far worse than with a toddler, as your teenager has a voice and opinion they use regularly, coupled with an attitude. If your teenager becomes angry due to the divorce, there are things you can do to keep him or her calm and get them to understand the realities of it without creating any additional issues. Use the tips below to manage teenager anger during a divorce.

Be honest with your teen from the start.

Even if you are going through a bad divorce, it’s very important you and your spouse work together to talk to and be honest with your teen about the divorce. Approaching him or her as a team will show that you are both still the parents and still willing to work together to raise your child. It also provides a united front and doesn’t allow either of you to talk poorly of the other parent in front of the child.

When having your discussion, be sure you and your spouse talk openly with your child about the reasons for it and what the plan is moving forward. Be sure to answer any questions your child may have and let them know you are there for them if they need it. Doing this all as soon as possible is much better than trying to hide it.

Try to keep things normal.

Teenagers are selfish, and they are going to care more about what the divorce will do to them than what it will do to you. For this reason, you and your spouse should work hard to try and keep things as normal as possible. If you need to move out of your house, try to move to a place that will keep your child in his/her school and near his/her friends and activities. If the divorce means uprooting your child to a new location, it could make the results of the divorce worse on your child.

In addition, you and your spouse should work to ensure you equally get time with your child. Both parents play important roles in their child’s life, so allow your child to spend equal amounts of time with one another by opting for the right child custody agreement. Figure out the best way to share time and have a schedule or agreement drawn up by the court so that each of you are fully protected by the law.

Monitor their behavior.

Sometimes teenagers have a tendency of acting out after a divorce, and this could be harmful. Be sure to monitor your child’s behavior and seek help if you notice a change in attitude or behavior, a lack of appetite, trouble at school, or any other signs of depression or other telltales that could signal there’s a problem. Should your child start to act out, it’s important to have them talk with a child therapist or other professional to get them the help they need to safely and healthily deal with the divorce.

Be there.

The most important thing you can do for your child during this time is to simply be there. Show them that you care and that you love them, and just be there to listen, answer questions, hang out, or whatever it is your child may need from you in order to cope.

Going through a divorce is tough on children, especially teenagers. If your child is angry or bitter from a divorce, use these tips to help get your child the answers he/she needs and the help he/she deserves.


26
Aug 17

How to Manage Stress During a Divorce

When you say the word “divorce”, the first thing that likely pops in your head is “stressful”. That’s because for most people, the act of divorce is one of the most stressful situations you’ll go through. The court system can make things almost impossible to move forward, a bitter ex could also be doing what they can to make it harder, and if you have kids during divorce, the stress levels go up even higher. However, just because divorce is stressful doesn’t mean you need to let it get the best of you. Instead, you need to find ways to better manage your stress so that you can positively move forward and see the light at the end of the tunnel.

 Talk to someone.

The worst thing you can do when feeling stressed is to bottle it all up inside you. By doing this, you’ll simply explode one day, and you could end up lashing out on someone you care deeply for. Instead, make sure that you have someone to talk to during the divorce, whether it’s a friend, relative or even a professional therapist. Getting your feelings out there can be enough to let you feel better and understand you’re not alone.

 Ask for help.

When you were married, you were a team. Now, you’re alone, and you’re trying to handle it all by yourself. This can often be stressful, but while you may have a sense of pride, you should never try to tackle everything yourself if it’s simply impossible. If you need help around your house, or with your kid, or even at work, ask for it. People understand you have a lot on your plate and nobody expects you to do everything on your own.

 Help the situation.

Sometimes your stress can come directly from the divorce, and this could be all because of you. For instance, if you are the reason why the divorce is taking so long to go through or if you are being stubborn about custody arrangements or other issues, it could be contributing to your stress levels. Be sure you’re being rationale about the things you want and what’s necessary for you to be happy, and then see if you need to adjust the way you’re handling the divorce.

 Find a stress reliever.

While talking to people and asking for help can be a great way to relieve stress, you should also consider other options as well, such as doing some type of physical activity. Taking a run, exercising, or exerting yourself in some physical way can help you relieve the stress that’s pent up inside you. Another way is to help yourself relax by getting a massage or taking a spa day. If you can find something you like to do that helps relieve stress, then you can find yourself rising above.

 Stay organized.

Sometimes if things in your life are chaotic, it can lead to more stress during the divorce. Instead, do whatever you can to stay organized. For instance, be sure to keep all legal paperwork in one location so you can reference it when you need to. It’s also a good idea to keep your schedule (and your child’s schedule if you have one) together so you know where you have to be and when, as well as when your child will be with your ex. Having some form of organization can help you keep from letting the little things get to you.

 Divorce adds a lot of stress to your life, but once it’s done and finalized, you will be able to move on and seek out a new adventure.


16
Aug 17

Co-Parenting Tips for the New School Year

Parents going through a divorce are realizing that opting for joint custody is much more beneficial for the child. This option allows the child to spend equal time with each parent and makes both parents monetarily responsible for the child while giving each parent equal decision-making capabilities for the child’s well-being. However, co-parenting can also be a challenge in its own way, especially when it comes time for your child to go back to school. Instead of starting a fight with your ex about your child, here are some co-parenting tips for the new school year.

 

Pay attention to your child’s schedule…and your own.

As the school year begins, your child will have an entirely new schedule that you’ll need to handle, which can include anything from sports to after-school clubs to other activities. In order to co-parent effectively, you and your ex need to both be on the same page regarding your child’s schedule and getting involved in activities. This way, you both know where your child needs to be and when, and you can add this into your own schedule so you can attend games, get them to and from practices, etc. Be sure that both parents have their email and phone number on any contact lists so that you’re both constantly in the loop regarding schedules and any changes so that neither of you is relying on the other.

 

Set the same rules.

Before the school year begins, it’s very important for you and your ex to talk about rules you have in place for your children and ensure you’re both on the same page. For instance, you both should have the same type of rules, such as curfews set for your child as well as expect the same type of contributions around the house. If you don’t, your child will start to take advantage of the parent who is looser on rules than the other, and this could turn into resentment for the parent with stronger rules. The best thing to do is to talk about the rules you’ll have, and then each of you talk together with your child so they know that the rules are in play at both houses. To keep you and your spouse on the same page, it’s also a good idea for you to sign a joint parenting agreement or contract that legally binds you both to keep it.

 

Talk regularly.

No matter what type of personal feelings you may have for your ex, it’s important that you both talk openly about your child on a regular basis. Thanks to technology, this communication can be done via text messages or emails instead of in person or over the phone. Set some time to talk every week about your child, their behavior, and anything else you may have learned about them throughout the week. If either of you notice any issues with your child, such as a lack of effort, withdrawal from social activities, or anything else that may stand out, be sure to talk about this as well. When you’re both on the same page, it keeps your child in line and can help you both constantly look out for your child’s well-being.

 

Stay positive about your ex.

It’s very important that your child have strong relationships with both parents, which means you need to encourage your child to spend time with the other and build a relationship. If you have bad feelings about your ex, talking to your child about it is not the right thing to do. Instead, keep your personal feelings to yourself and always express happiness for your ex in front of your child.

 

Co-parenting can have its challenges, but it’s extremely important for your child. By using these tips, you and your ex can prepare for a great school year for your child.