Sep 20

What to Expect from Mediation

For some couples, divorce is much easier when you do it through mediation instead of through the court system. In fact, many courts are actually asking people to try mediation first before taking their divorce to court. For some couples, this is a great way to finalize the divorce and move on in a healthy way; however, preparing for mediation is not the same as preparing for court. Here is what you should expect from mediation with divorce.


Talk about it.

In order for mediation to work, you and your ex need to be open to it. If one of you attends the mediation with a bad attitude, then it’s not going to work. Instead, be sure you talk about mediation versus the court and ensure you’re both on the same page when it comes to settling the divorce quickly and amicably.


Be prepared.

Your mediation will discuss all your possessions and assets, and the mediator will be there to help the two of you discuss what you have and who should get what. To do this effectively, it’s important to have a list of your assets and properties in front of you so you can discuss it in detail. In addition to simply knowing what you have, it’s important to also know what you want. This doesn’t mean being greedy either. Instead, be rationale about what it is you want from the divorce and then use that in your mediation discussion.


As you’re preparing these lists, think long and hard about what you simply won’t let go of and make two lists—the list of your must-haves and a list of the things you can negotiate. Chances are your ex will have a similar list, so be sure you’re open to compromise on their must-have list so they will return the favor for yours.


Aside from what you want, you need to be sure all debts are also accounted for. This way, each of you will walk away knowing who is responsible for what payments, whether it’s a mortgage, a credit card, a student loan, etc. Depending on what is happening with your living situation, some couples opt to put the house up for sale and use the profits from the sale to pay for any outstanding debts you share together. Again, talk to the mediator about this, but ensure you have disclosed all debts upfront.


Do your research.

Some mediators will allow you to have your legal counsel in the room while others will not. It’s best to do your research ahead of time and know whether or not your attorney can be there. If so, be sure they are there to help accurately represent you and your needs. To do this effectively, talk with your legal representative beforehand to ensure they fully understand what you want from the divorce.


Aside from knowing what to expect the day of, you should also research potential mediators. You and your spouse should agree on the same one together so each of you feels as if your best interests are in mind. If you cannot seem to agree on someone, ask the court to provide one for you, as this can be done without any prejudices.


Opting for mediation is a healthy way to get divorced and do so amicably. If you and your ex can work together, you’ll find it’s less expensive, quicker, and easier on everyone involved. If you find yourself facing divorce, consider the benefits of mediation before starting the process through your family court system.

Sep 20

7 Tips to Helping Your Teen Bounce Back After a Break-up

As a parent, you’ve probably committed to doing everything you can to ensure your child’s happiness. But if the emotional distress is caused by the end of a relationship, you may wonder how best to assist your teen. The following are ways to help your child bounce back after experiencing a broken heart for the first time.

Let Them Vent

You may be terrified at the prospect of your teens first relationship. But a first romance can be the start of many life lessons for your child. To your teen, being in love for the first time can have them walking with their head in the clouds. But if the relationship suddenly ends, your son or daughter may need a shoulder to cry and lean on after a breakup. Instead of offering advice or words of, “I told you so,” you want to give them the floor to vent and pour their feelings out. Once your teen has found their voice and shared their concerns, they may feel better upon releasing the burden.

Seek Help From the Professionals

Your teen may take a breakup particularly hard. They may even turn to drugs or alcohol to help numb the pain. Signs of addiction can include symptoms of withdrawal, changes in their demeanor and appearance. You need to seek the help of the professionals immediately. The Recovery Village at Palmer Lake is a leading drug and alcohol rehab facility. Led by a group of professionals who have hands-on experience with the journey, your child will be able to recover in a safe environment.


Ease Them Into a Normal Routine

Similar to adults, the end to a relationship can be crippling for a teen. While you want to give them time to mourn the loss, you also want to ease them into getting back to a normal routine. You can start by encouraging them to get together with their friends. You may also want to plan family activities that take their mind off their ex. The more that they can keep busy, the clearer their mind will be to focus on things that will bring them happiness.

Share Your Own Stories

The last thing your son or daughter will want to hear from a parent is a lecture after a breakup. Although you may want to point out why you think the relationship ended, refrain from doing so. Instead, share your own heartbreaking relationship ending stories that your child may be able to relate to. Hearing that you’ve suffered a broken heart in your teens may make your kids feel less alone. The experiences you share may also help them to move on.

Never Get in the Middle

If the breakup is especially bad for your child, you may feel the need to protect them. You may even want to go on social media such as Facebook or YouTube to call that person out. Unfortunately, getting in the middle of breakup can backfire and cause your child to get angry with you instead of their ex. Put all your energies instead on assisting your teen in processing the end of the relationship and moving forward.

Give Your Teen Space

As a parent, you may want to fix everything for your child. But you can’t put a band-aid on heartbreak. If you’re child doesn’t want to discuss the situation, don’t force them to speak. You need to allow them time to work through their emotions without pressuring them. Allow your teen to come to you when they’re ready. Until then, give your teen space and time to recover. If you share child custody with your Ex, it would behoove your child to be on the same page about this. That way, you are co-parenting about these types of issues.

Encourage Your Teen to Date

Once of the best ways to get over a breakup is to have fun with your friends. Encourage your teen to dip their toes back in the dating world when they feel ready. While they may be hesitant to give their heart to someone new, the experience will help them grow and learn. If they’re not ready for the one-on-one experience, they may have just as much fun hanging out with friends of both sexes in big groups.

Your teen may feel like their world is ending with a breakup. But before you know it, they’ll return to a normal routine. You can help them heal from the pain and heartache by communicating openly with them. You may also want to encourage them to slowly venture back into the real world.