17
Aug 16

Staying on Track – How to Be Positive in a Long Custody Case

Everyone who is involved in a child custody battle wishes that they weren’t and struggles with keeping positive.  It is so hard to be involved in this type of situation because of the emotions that are involved.  Parents will find that in the best situations they are able to agree upon things.  However, this is not typically the case and many times a family court judge is forced to determine what is going to be best for the child and parents involved.

In most cases, it is possible for both parents to be able to have a safe and nurturing environment for the children at their homes.  Even if this is the case, when it’s time to go to court for custody, it’s always a stressful time and usually neither parent ends up with exactly what they were hoping for.  There are many steps that you can take in order to show how committed you are to your children.  Doing these things can help you to remain positive while you are going through a tough custody battle.

 

Be Involved with the Schools

Many parents find enjoyment when they are able to be involved in their child’s day to day activities at school.  When you are staying involved, you are helping yourself to have positive times with your child in their school environment.  You are also working together with your child to provide them with the things that they need for success in their education.  Showing your dedication to your children and their education will help you to have a more positive attitude as far as your child is concerned.

 

Help Your Children Be Involved

One of the biggest mistakes that parents make when they are going through a custody battle is that they withdraw.  When they withdraw, they withdraw their children with themselves.  This can be damaging to your child and their self-esteem.  Instead of withdrawing, help to ensure that your children stay involved.  Being involved in activities with your children will help you to have a more positive attitude and will help your children to be able to stay positive as well.  Plus, they will be working on developing friendships and working on skills needed for success in different areas of life.

 

Take Photographs

Many people do not realize how important it is to be able to show how a child spend their time when they are with a parent.  Photographs of things that you are doing with your children, their living environment, and the family members/friends that they associate with is important.  If you are spending time with others and having a good time with your children, you are going to be able to look at the brighter side of things as well.

 

Set Boundaries & Enforce Them

 Children who are going through a tough time, like the divorce of their parents and a custody battle are going to be more likely to try and push the boundaries.  One of the things that you can do in order to help maintain a stable home for your child is set clear boundaries for them.  Make sure that your child has expectations and knows what is expected of them.  You will also want to ensure that your child knows what the consequences for not following through with expectations can be.  While your child might at first try and get around the boundaries that you set, both you and your child will be happier in the future with clear boundaries and rules.

 

Care for Your Child

 During a bad custody battle, life might feel as though it is out of your control.  In some ways it will be, but there are many aspects of life that you can remain in control over.  Make sure that you are taking your children to regular doctor appointments and staying on top of any health concerns that you might have.  In addition, you will want to make sure that you are following through with eating healthy meals and gaining certifications that can show that you are going to be a qualified parent.  Be willing to take classes like child CPR and parenting classes so that everyone involved understands your goal to be a better parent.

 

Stay Positive

Instead of looking at everything that is going on in your life, take time to look at everything that is going right.  Instead of falling into a negative attitude or allowing yourself to look at the negative things that are going on, make sure that you stay positive and that you are focusing on each and everything that is going right in your life.  If you have a positive attitude and avoid being negative it is going to be harder for your ex to portray you in a negative light.  Remember, even if they are lying about you and saying things to purposely anger you, that if you give them any hint of anger in a courtroom, what your ex is saying is going to appear to be true.  Keep calm and levelheaded and stay positive no matter what you are going through.

 

Know Who Your Children Are

Do not allow yourself to get lost from your children while you are going through a custody battle.  Take time to get to know your children.  Learn about the things that they enjoy, what they are into, things they like to do, what they want to become, and who they really are.  The more you know about your child, the better that you are going to be able to be a parent to them.

Child custody battles can be intense and tough situations to deal with.  It might feel as though nothing is going right and you might feel as though you have every right in the world to give up.  However, with the right attitude and the right presence you will be able to truly understand who you and remain positive even in the worst of situations.

 


26
Jul 16

Using Email to Create a Custody Log for Record Keeping

One of the most crucial pieces of evidence that you can use in court is a parenting log, also called a custody log.  This log will show times that custodial and non-custodial parents have children as well as when they do not take advantage of their time with the children.    There are many things that you should note in a custody journal and keeping one through email is a great way to easily be able to update the journal through texts or emails at the time of drop offs or pick-ups.

 How to Use Email to Create a Custody Log

The first thing that you will want to do if you are going to use email as a custody log is create a new email account that is only used for this purpose.  Each time that your child is picked up or dropped off with the other parent, make sure that you send an email to the account with a text message.  This is simple and easy and gives you a record that is time and date stamped.

Another thing that you will want to do is make notes in the texts or actually send emails if you need longer notes for different things that occur during times that your child’s other parent has them.  Make note of your child’s behavior, their moods, and the things that they say in the email.  You should also be sure to point out when the other parent is late with pick-ups or drop offs.  You can make note of when they were supposed to pick up and missed visits or canceled them.  It’s also a great way to keep track of communication about trading visits or working something out.  You can simply copy and paste your ex’s texts or take screen shots of them and email these to the account.  This way you always have the ability to look something up when you need to.

In addition to these things, you can keep record of communication that you have with the other parent, information about medical appointments or school issues, and even help keep track of milestones and developments for your child.  In addition, make sure that you keep track of issues that you want to discuss with your child’s other parent or information that you want to make sure that you relate to them.  You can even have the other parent create their own journal email so that you can email these issues back and forth between the two of you with a clear record of when you are notifying them and what they choose to do with said information.

This email is a great way to keep track of everything that you want to remember about your child.  It is also a clear record that you can use in court if questions arise with how one of you are taking care of your child or communicating with one another.  If you have a clear email chain, the other parent cannot deny receiving important information or being told about something that was important.

 How the Email Journal Can Be Used in Court

It is easy to print emails.  One of the things that you can do before you go to court is print all of the emails that you have saved as well as all of the information that was shared between the two parents.  This is a great way to keep details of everything that you have been involved in.

 Reasons You Should Maintain Custody Journal

If disputes occur in court, as they often do, having a journal that is time stamped and has all of the information in it can help to prove that what you are saying is true.  You can’t change the time on an email to suit your needs so it’s important that you are sending these emails as they occur.  In addition, it can help you to show that you are doing the things that you agreed to and whether or not the child’s time with the other parent is interfering with their behaviors or education in any way.  In addition, it can help you to provide information that can help set up a more appropriate child custody schedule should things need to be changed.

Plus, if you are recording important milestones, information about school and activities, or other information that needs to be shared with your child’s other parents then it is going to help to show that you are following through with your effort to provide good communication.   Your ex won’t be able to deny that they did certain things or that they were not notified of something if you have a clear record that shows that they were.  Having a journal also helps give you peace of mind that you are not going to have to provide information or proof to a judge in the future should there be any issues, everything will be contained in one neat and tidy place that is easy for your to access.