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Aug 16

Staying on Track – How to Be Positive in a Long Custody Case

Everyone who is involved in a child custody battle wishes that they weren’t and struggles with keeping positive.  It is so hard to be involved in this type of situation because of the emotions that are involved.  Parents will find that in the best situations they are able to agree upon things.  However, this is not typically the case and many times a family court judge is forced to determine what is going to be best for the child and parents involved.

In most cases, it is possible for both parents to be able to have a safe and nurturing environment for the children at their homes.  Even if this is the case, when it’s time to go to court for custody, it’s always a stressful time and usually neither parent ends up with exactly what they were hoping for.  There are many steps that you can take in order to show how committed you are to your children.  Doing these things can help you to remain positive while you are going through a tough custody battle.

 

Be Involved with the Schools

Many parents find enjoyment when they are able to be involved in their child’s day to day activities at school.  When you are staying involved, you are helping yourself to have positive times with your child in their school environment.  You are also working together with your child to provide them with the things that they need for success in their education.  Showing your dedication to your children and their education will help you to have a more positive attitude as far as your child is concerned.

 

Help Your Children Be Involved

One of the biggest mistakes that parents make when they are going through a custody battle is that they withdraw.  When they withdraw, they withdraw their children with themselves.  This can be damaging to your child and their self-esteem.  Instead of withdrawing, help to ensure that your children stay involved.  Being involved in activities with your children will help you to have a more positive attitude and will help your children to be able to stay positive as well.  Plus, they will be working on developing friendships and working on skills needed for success in different areas of life.

 

Take Photographs

Many people do not realize how important it is to be able to show how a child spend their time when they are with a parent.  Photographs of things that you are doing with your children, their living environment, and the family members/friends that they associate with is important.  If you are spending time with others and having a good time with your children, you are going to be able to look at the brighter side of things as well.

 

Set Boundaries & Enforce Them

 Children who are going through a tough time, like the divorce of their parents and a custody battle are going to be more likely to try and push the boundaries.  One of the things that you can do in order to help maintain a stable home for your child is set clear boundaries for them.  Make sure that your child has expectations and knows what is expected of them.  You will also want to ensure that your child knows what the consequences for not following through with expectations can be.  While your child might at first try and get around the boundaries that you set, both you and your child will be happier in the future with clear boundaries and rules.

 

Care for Your Child

 During a bad custody battle, life might feel as though it is out of your control.  In some ways it will be, but there are many aspects of life that you can remain in control over.  Make sure that you are taking your children to regular doctor appointments and staying on top of any health concerns that you might have.  In addition, you will want to make sure that you are following through with eating healthy meals and gaining certifications that can show that you are going to be a qualified parent.  Be willing to take classes like child CPR and parenting classes so that everyone involved understands your goal to be a better parent.

 

Stay Positive

Instead of looking at everything that is going on in your life, take time to look at everything that is going right.  Instead of falling into a negative attitude or allowing yourself to look at the negative things that are going on, make sure that you stay positive and that you are focusing on each and everything that is going right in your life.  If you have a positive attitude and avoid being negative it is going to be harder for your ex to portray you in a negative light.  Remember, even if they are lying about you and saying things to purposely anger you, that if you give them any hint of anger in a courtroom, what your ex is saying is going to appear to be true.  Keep calm and levelheaded and stay positive no matter what you are going through.

 

Know Who Your Children Are

Do not allow yourself to get lost from your children while you are going through a custody battle.  Take time to get to know your children.  Learn about the things that they enjoy, what they are into, things they like to do, what they want to become, and who they really are.  The more you know about your child, the better that you are going to be able to be a parent to them.

Child custody battles can be intense and tough situations to deal with.  It might feel as though nothing is going right and you might feel as though you have every right in the world to give up.  However, with the right attitude and the right presence you will be able to truly understand who you and remain positive even in the worst of situations.