04
Jan 18

What to Do When Your Child Doesn’t Want to Live With You

Being a parent is one of the toughest jobs you’ll ever encounter, and the unconditional love you feel is enough to make you want to do anything in the world for your child. However, sometimes parent/child relationships can become strained, whether it’s due to your behaviors or the behaviors of your child. In most cases, the parent and child need to figure out how to make it work, but in some cases, other options are available. For instance, if you and your ex are divorced and you have sole or joint custody of the child, it’s possible for your child to make up their own mind when they hit a specific age. So what do you do when your child doesn’t want to live with you?

 

Talk to Your Child

If your child is adamant about not wanting to live with you or not wanting to hold any visitation with you, the best thing for you to do is to talk with your child about his/her feelings. Maybe this is just their way of acting out, or maybe they do have some valid concerns that you weren’t completely aware of. By talking with your child, maybe you can work out whatever differences there may be.

 

Talk with a Legal Representative

If your conversations with your child don’t help you resolve the issue, the next step would be to talk with a legal representative about child visitation. In most states, a child is bound by the parenting agreement until he or she is 18. This is only changed if proof of neglect or abuse can be made against one of the parents. In addition, your child may be able to tell the court that he/she doesn’t want to live with you, but that doesn’t mean the court will rule in his/her favor. Instead, your child’s wishes will simply be recorded, but no change will be done in a legal setting.

 

Try Counseling

Sometimes just talking things out with one another doesn’t always work, and you need the help of an unbiased third party. Try to attend some family counseling sessions with your child. Maybe being able to talk openly about feelings in front of someone else will help your child fully understand how their actions are making you feel, and maybe it can allow the both of you to come to a resolution.

 

Decide What You Want to Do

While the court can rule your child is required to stay with you or required to visit you, it doesn’t mean your relationship with your child will get better. Instead, this could actually put more strain on your relationship, and that’s the last thing you want to do. While you want to spend quality time with your child, it’s not always worth it if you’re constantly arguing or fighting. If this is the case, you need to decide what to do as the parent. Do you want to allow your child to have the final say in where they live and how often they see you, or do you want to be the one making the rules? If you decide to allow your child to stay with the other parent, you’ll want to go through the court system to ensure the documentation has been changed.

No parent wants to lose time with their child, but being a parent means being able to make tough decisions when they come your way.  If you find yourself in a situation where your child no longer wants to live with you, use these tips to help the both of you come to an agreement that keeps your relationship strong and healthy.

 

 

 

 


28
Dec 17

What to do if you can’t afford an attorney

There may come a time when you’re in need of an attorney, but with the high cost associated with reputable lawyers, it’s often difficult to pay for one. If you’re stuck in a poor financial situation, you may be unable to afford an attorney out of pocket, and this could be detrimental to your legal needs. However, that doesn’t mean you’re out of luck. Below are a few great options for you to consider when you cannot afford an attorney on your own.

 

Look for free legal aid.

The US government knows that having access to a lawyer is important, which is why there are plenty of governments and organizations dedicated to providing legal services to low-income individuals or families. Reach out to any organizations near you to see if they’d be willing to take your case. Most of them will at least offer a consultation, so you can find out what your next steps should be.

 

Try a law school.

There is a decent amount of people in law school looking to practice their skills, and many law students are able to practice in a court under the supervision of a real lawyer. These schools often have programs to help those in need, so contact a local law school and see if they have any programs that could use your case. If so, you may be able to get free legal services just by helping the students learn a real-life experience.

 

Look for pro bono attorneys.

Oftentimes attorneys offer pro bono cases a few times a year. There are multiple reasons why these attorneys do this, so it’s important to look for those who do more than one per year. Do a little research online to find some recommendations, and then contact these places to see if you can get some work done for nothing. Be sure to also look for a pro bono attorney who works on the cases you need. For instance, if you’re in need of child custody attorney, be sure you’re looking for a pro bono attorney who specializes in that specific area.

 

Try to represent yourself.

The legal system gives you the option of having a lawyer represent your or representing yourself. Obviously, this will not cost you any money to do, but you will need opt familiarize yourself with the way the court runs as well as the different laws needed in your case. The court will give you some leeway, but you’ll still need to keep the events moving forward at a steady pace. If you choose this option, National Family Solutions can help you.

 

Opt for an alternative method.

Sometimes you may not actually need to go to court. Depending on the reason for your legal needs, you may be able to find a different way to solve your problems. For instance, if you are in the middle of a custody battle, you could opt for mediation instead of going to court. This lets you and your spouse work things out with a legal professional without having to pay court fees and spend a long time getting it accomplished. Chances are there will be fees associated with this, but it likely will not cost nearly as much as paying out of pocket for a real legal team.

Having to deal with the law can be stressful, and the last thing you need is the burden of paying for an attorney if you simply don’t have the money. However, if you use these suggestions, you may be able to find the legal services you need without breaking the bank.


20
Dec 17

Co-Parenting and Holidays: How to Make it Work

Sharing custody of your child with the other parent can be challenging, but it often becomes more difficult when the holiday season starts to come by. After all, no parent wants to be without his/her child on the holidays, but it’s often a necessity in a shared custodial agreement. Instead of allowing this issue to stress you out, it’s a good idea for you and the other parent to find the best possible way to make it work. Not only will this give you peace of mind, but it will also cause less stress for your child as well, and that’s the ultimate goal. Check out these tips to make co-parenting around the holidays work.

 

Follow the court’s ruling.

In most cases, your co-parenting will likely have a custody arrangement that includes holiday schedules. Most courts will have made this fair, so the best thing for each parent to do is to follow this exactly as it was written out in order to avoid any court-related grievances. However, in the case that you feel the court’s ruling is unfair, you can always petition for a new ruling or you can talk to your ex about creating your own holiday co-parenting agreement on your own.

 

Make it fair.

If you are opting to create your own holiday schedule, the best thing to do is to make it fair for each parent to spend time with the child on holidays. For instance, you can opt for an every-other-year arrangement, whereas you trade off having your child on decided holidays. As an example, if one parent had the child for Easter, then the other parent gets the child for Thanksgiving. The next year, you can switch, so each parent gets the child on different holidays. Should you have holidays you each prefer, maybe you can be fair in simply allowing the parent to have that holiday every year while you have another.

 

You should also be sure that holiday breaks for your child are also fair. For instance, if your child has a two-week Christmas break, then one parent should get the child for a week in order to celebrate appropriately.

 

Be realistic.

One of the biggest holiday challenges is Christmas, as most parents want to see their child’s face on Christmas morning. However, again you need to be fair in your custody arrangement around Christmas. Again, you can opt for the every other year arrangement, or maybe one of you can take Christmas Eve while the other takes Christmas Day. Whenever you’re deciding the best schedule, just be fair with one another. If one parent always gets Christmas morning, it’s unfair to the other parent.

 

Do it together.

One way to totally avoid these co-parenting holiday issues is for each of you to act like an adult and celebrate together. For instance, maybe you can all get together on Christmas morning or night to celebrate the holidays with one another, even if there are other family members involved. Remember that this event is about your child and his/her feelings, not yours, so you need to keep your personal feelings away from the situation. You can alternate whose house you celebrate at every year so that it’s comfortable and fair for everyone. Keep it simple by just allowing your child to open presents and eat some holiday breakfast, and then you can move on to celebrate the rest of the day how you see fit.

Spending time with your child on the holidays is always a joy for parents, and sharing custody with the other parent shouldn’t put a damper on this. Instead, do what you can to create an even holiday schedule and rest assured you’re creating great memories with your child.


24
Mar 15

Why it’s Important to File Custody with the Courts Instead of a Verbal Agreement

Going to court for child custody can be time consuming and expensive. Because of this, many parents often decide to ditch the courtroom altogether and instead create a verbal custody agreement. These agreements can be anything from one parent seeing the child every other weekend to both parents getting equal time with the child.

Even if you and your ex get along and both have the best interest of your child in mind, it’s still important that you file your custody with the courts instead of simply having a verbal agreement.

 Situations are going to change.

Many parents create this verbal agreement based on their current situations without looking toward the future. The problem is that both parents’ situations are going to change over time, and this will put you in a bind when it comes to custody.

For example, if one parent gets a promotion that will force them to move, this will cause an issue with your verbal agreement. The moving parent may want to bring the child with them, but the non-moving parent will want the child to stay close. This will likely cause a blowout that is not healthy for your child, and the two of you will just end up in court anyway.

If you make the arrangement in court, these types of situations can be settled before they arise. Also, you and your ex can always decide to go back to court when situations change or your custody agreement needs to be revamped. This will always keep your child’s best interests at the forefront.

 You won’t have anything legally binding you.

When you have a verbal agreement, it makes it easier for you and your ex to break it. For example, you may have a verbal agreement that says you’ll both pay 50/50 when it comes to your child’s educational and extracurricular needs. When you don’t have a legal agreement, your ex could decide to back out on this part of the agreement at any time, putting you fully responsible for footing the bill.

When you legally file custody, your agreement is set in stone and you or your ex cannot back out. If your agreement says that you will split costs and your ex doesn’t hold up to their end of the bargain, you can take them back to court where they can either be forced to pay you or they can serve jail time for breaking the agreement.

 It defines the parents’ responsibilities.

When you have a verbal agreement, your parenting responsibilities may not be entirely thought out. For example, you may decide to take your child to see one doctor, but your ex may decide to take them to another doctor. This isn’t beneficial for your child.

When you are filed through the courts, they will decide the type of custody both parents receive. For example, if you have joint legal custody, then both parents need to be in agreement when it comes to the upbringing of the child. This means that parents will need to agree on medical care, school, and other items. If you have sole legal custody of your child, then you and you alone get to make these decisions for your child without input from the other parent. Having this determined by the courts will make raising your child easier.

 


18
Sep 12

How to Help Children Cope With Divorce

Let’s face it, divorce is hard on the children as much as it is the parents. Many things a parent will do affect how children cope with divorce. Some parents involved in a divorce tend to say thing regarding the other parent in front of their children. If you are saying something bad about the other parent, do not say it where your child can hear it. Also, do not share details about the divorce with your children. Another no no is arguing in front of your child. Above all, do not put your child in the position as playing adult. They are children and should not have to worry about adult matters. Let them be young free spirits and enjoy their youth without the added stress of what is happening in mom and dads world. They will only be young once, let them enjoy it.