Going through a divorce is rough on you, but it’s also rough on your kids, regardless of the reason for it. If your child is a teenager, the results from the divorce could be far worse than with a toddler, as your teenager has a voice and opinion they use regularly, coupled with an attitude. If your teenager becomes angry due to the divorce, there are things you can do to keep him or her calm and get them to understand the realities of it without creating any additional issues. Use the tips below to manage teenager anger during a divorce.
Be honest with your teen from the start.
Even if you are going through a bad divorce, it’s very important you and your spouse work together to talk to and be honest with your teen about the divorce. Approaching him or her as a team will show that you are both still the parents and still willing to work together to raise your child. It also provides a united front and doesn’t allow either of you to talk poorly of the other parent in front of the child.
When having your discussion, be sure you and your spouse talk openly with your child about the reasons for it and what the plan is moving forward. Be sure to answer any questions your child may have and let them know you are there for them if they need it. Doing this all as soon as possible is much better than trying to hide it.
Try to keep things normal.
Teenagers are selfish, and they are going to care more about what the divorce will do to them than what it will do to you. For this reason, you and your spouse should work hard to try and keep things as normal as possible. If you need to move out of your house, try to move to a place that will keep your child in his/her school and near his/her friends and activities. If the divorce means uprooting your child to a new location, it could make the results of the divorce worse on your child.
In addition, you and your spouse should work to ensure you equally get time with your child. Both parents play important roles in their child’s life, so allow your child to spend equal amounts of time with one another by opting for the right child custody agreement. Figure out the best way to share time and have a schedule or agreement drawn up by the court so that each of you are fully protected by the law.
Monitor their behavior.
Sometimes teenagers have a tendency of acting out after a divorce, and this could be harmful. Be sure to monitor your child’s behavior and seek help if you notice a change in attitude or behavior, a lack of appetite, trouble at school, or any other signs of depression or other telltales that could signal there’s a problem. Should your child start to act out, it’s important to have them talk with a child therapist or other professional to get them the help they need to safely and healthily deal with the divorce.
The most important thing you can do for your child during this time is to simply be there. Show them that you care and that you love them, and just be there to listen, answer questions, hang out, or whatever it is your child may need from you in order to cope.
Going through a divorce is tough on children, especially teenagers. If your child is angry or bitter from a divorce, use these tips to help get your child the answers he/she needs and the help he/she deserves.